Damaged
by j752572
Summary: ZimDib song fic, Both boys are sick of fighting and musings on a cliffside lead to a truce and more


I own nothing Zim like, save for some pins and stuffed dolls. Sorry for all those reading Mojo's fic it was taken off for some reason so I need to figure out what rule I broke so I can fix it. This song is damaged by plumb, it is slightly different from the song because that is what the web site gave me and I changed the last line from girl to boy.

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Dreaming comes so easily  
'Cause it's all that I've ever know

Dib stood looking up at the night sky, staring at the abyss of diamond tears above him. The wind blew silently trying to sweep away his long onyx trench coat, the buckles snapped in the gust. He was standing on a cliff overlooking his sparkling city of lights. He and some bushes were the only things around; he came to think, and to be alone.

He had another dream, of Zim...with him. He wanted it to be true, he wanted to hold him and love him until the entire world melted away and it was just them, Zim and Dib. He knew that could never happen, he needed to fight these feelings so they couldn't hurt them in the future, if there even was one.

True love is a fairy tale  
I'm damaged, so how would I know

It wasn't fair, how he could love Zim and hate him at the same time. Did Zim have the same conflicting emotions behind his crimson eyes? Could he, did his pak even allow him to love, truly love another being...another soul?

_It probably doesn't, he doesn't even know how I feel and that kills me more then anything, he'll never understand if he doesn't feel it._ _Maybe I don't love him, maybe this is just because with out him I'm not important, and without him I am nothing. Is this love or is it me wanting to be...somebody. I can't stop thinking about him does love even exist, I mean really, or is it some chemical in our brains just trying to get us to mate, even if he is a boy, it isn't real it is just instincts and chemical reactions._

I'm scared and I'm alone  
I'm ashamed  
And I need for you to know

"Zim, I wish you could hear me right now so I could tell you how wrong this is, how much it hurts me on the inside to think I love you like this. I don't Zim, I don't love you, and how can I love someone I want to destroy so badly." Dib didn't shout it but it seamed to thunder over Cliffside to the city far below.

Dib was going to say more, about how he really loved Zim, about how he wished he could be with him and how sorry he was for denying it, he was going to, but before he had the courage to finally admit the truth to himself, he felt something, eyes at his back. He was being watched, watched by Zim, he knew the feeling anywhere, the relief that Zim was still there, the pride that Zim conceived him a threat, which by default made him superior to the others in the small invaders eyes.

I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say  
And you can't take back what you've  
taken away  
'Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

Dib couldn't let Zim know the truth, he wouldn't think that Dib was a threat anymore, he wouldn't be....special to Zim, different, better somehow then all the other people. Dib didn't care what they though of him anymore, just what Zim thought of him, as long as he was special to Zim someway, he could cope.

Zim was in the bushes hiding, he had followed Dib up to the Cliffside to offer a truce, a friendship so that he wouldn't have to fight Dib anymore, after all he didn't want to hurt him anymore, just have him, to hold close to him.

_But...what did he say, just instincts, nothing truly felt on the inside? Why don't you love me Dib-human? Why don't you love Zim? I want to be with you but now I know I can't be can I? I'll never be more then your enemy, I am not your enemy Dib, unless you want me to be, but I don't want to hurt you, but now I don't have a choice. You won't let me love you._

Zim was sitting with his back to Dib behind the bushes, he didn't hear Dib turn and walk over towards him, but he felt it. It was like a ball formed in his chest, a ball of good feelings that grew as Dib got closer, but the ball was covered in ice, because Dib wouldn't love him. Warm and happy, and cold and lonely, all at the same time, it wasn't fair.

I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say  
And you can't take back what you've  
taken away  
'Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

Zim turned and looked up at Dib right into his eyes, they were like honey only darker, they didn't hold bitterness, but compassion, they were both sick of hurting each other, and they silently understood that together. Without words a truce was made, no more fighting, they would at least try to keep some semblance of peace.  
  
Healing comes so painfully  
And it chills to the bone  
Will anyone get close to me?  
I'm damaged, as I'm sure you know

Zim got up ad they walked down the path silently together towards Zim's voot runner. They both had to learn to accept new feelings, it was hard and it was awkward at first, to learn to trust each other. They had fights arguing over whether or not one was trying to attack the other or not. It hurt, the verbal attacks, because they cut deep into each others emotions to try to damage them, so they wouldn't get hurt themselves.

_He won't trust me, does that mean he doesn't love me? It hurts inside, not knowing if he really care's or if this is just a trap. It makes me cold inside, like I can't trust anyone. Can I let him get close to me, will he? Stop...I know he feels the same, we are both broken inside, we need each other to fix this._

I'm scared and I'm alone  
I'm ashamed  
And I need for you to know

Dib stood outside Zim's front yard leaning with his back on his fence. Zim noticed him standing out there and walked out and stood behind him, on the opposite side of the fence. "Zim, I don't want to fight with you anymore about anything, I need to show to you that you can trust me. I don't want to be alone anymore." Dib turned around to look at Zim. Zim was ashamed of himself, after all he was the one to propose the truce to begin with and he couldn't even follow through and try to trust the Dib-human he had come to love so much. Zim said two words outside, but they meant so much. "Come in."

There's mending for my soul  
An ending to this fear  
Forgiveness for a man who was stronger  
I was just a little boy, but I can't go back

Dib walked to the top of the cliff later that night, only to discover it was already occupied. Zim sat on the ground looking up at the stars he didn't even hear Dib, he just continued to sit with his eye's closed. Then he spoke, not directly to Dib but out to the stars. "Thank you Dib-human. I'm not afraid anymore, or of you of my feelings, of being cut open on an autopsy table. I forgive you for all those threats, but at least you never carried them out when you did catch me. I was weak Dib, I really did try to destroy you. I was young and stupid, and I can't change that, I just hope you will forgive me now. I guess we know who the superior being is now, huh?"

Dib walked over next to Zim and lied on his back next to Zim, and gazed at the stars, Zim opened his eyes and looked down at Dib; he lied down next to him and wrapped one arm around Dib. "You're forgiven Zim," Dib said smiling. It came out as a breath against his side but Dib still heard it,

"Thank you Dib"


End file.
